Faeries Oracle

56 - Gloominous Doom

Self-defeat. Self-pity. Self-destruction. Taking care of ourselves.

Self-pity is the first step on the slippery, seductive slide toward selfdestruction.

Much of what I've said above about the Soul Shrinker (Card 55) applies to Gloominous Doom, so please read about the Soul Shrinker first. It may seem odd to have such a seemingly lightweight Challenger as Gloominous Doom right next to the Soul Shrinker, but they are the closest of cousins. The Soul Shrinker observes the way we curse others, through energy and attitude; Gloominous Doom observes the way we curse ourselves.

In a way, thought, the part of ourselves that he witnesses is worse than what the Soul Shrinker sees. When we curse others through sending the energy of malice and ill will toward them, they may reject our sendings. However, when we curse ourselves through self-pity and self-destructive attitudes, there is little, if any, resistance, and the curse takes immediate effect - and continues to act until we change our attitudes.

It's interesting, isn't it, how we can see at once that the Soul Shrinker is ugly, but Gloominous Doom has a certain charm, a kind of weird attractiveness. We feel sorry for him! He looks so pitiful. And there is another side to him that one Oracle group participant sees. "I feel that Gloominous Doom is underrated as a helper. He can be there for you when no one else wants to know. The state of self-pity, when all seems terrible, and the whole world is against you, is an important part of the process. We all get down sometimes. You could say that we even need it to compare with when we feel good.

"Gloominous Doom is ready and willing to help us explore just how awful it all feels, just how bad it is, and how hard done by we feel - and what has made us feel like that in the first place. It is very important to really get to know these feelings - or how can you possibly let them go if you don't properly know them in the first place? Our feelings need to be fully acknowledged and understood, or we just tuck them away and hide them from sight - until they appear again, maybe in a different guise.

"Gloominous Doom helps us properly explore our gloomy feelings of doom so that we can be done with them. It is a very important job."

The ultimate test here, of course, is to take responsibility for ourselves and our attitudes and to choose a path that is life-affirming, not life-denying. The sorrier we feel for ourselves, the worse our life becomes. Reread that last sentence, please! It is not the other way around. Self-pity makes things worse, and we have a choice, one we have every moment, as to whether we want to make our lives better or worse. And only we can choose that for ourselves.

Starter Reading

It is time to face the fact that our attitudes and beliefs about ourselves are our own. We may have learned them from others, but the others are not responsible for them in the here and now. We are. If we choose self-pity and pessimism, we make a choice that makes our lives worse. When this card appears in a reading, it indicates that this is a time when understanding that concept is especially important - a time when there is some sort of a crunch in the situation that offers someone the opportunity to notice and change such self-destructive habits. If it is yourself, you know what you need to do. If it is someone else, you may wish to consider how you might support them in this opportunity for change. Can you make sure to give positive feedback at every appropriate opportunity? Can you refrain from nagging, scolding, or complaining at them when they get it wrong? These things help.

Reversed

Someone is sunk in self-pity, and this is having a deleterious effect on that person and on the situation. I hate to say it, but there is very little anyone but that person can do to change the attitude. It is important to remember that trying to push someone else into a different attitude usually only encourages them to resist us, making matters worse. (See the Soul Shrinker, Card 55.) Take this into account in making your own plans and decisions, and get on with doing the best you can with your life. It is up to the other person to sort out her own attitudes.

An Oracle reader from our on-line group shows a way that we can deal with excessive self-pity in ourselves by meeting our own needs and desires for comforting. She says, "I have a pity party when I'm feeling down. I give myself permission to enjoy this feeling to the nth degree. I wallow in it. I get all of the junk food I can think of, rent the worst (really groan) movies, get my blankie, and I'm set. Pretty soon, I can't remember why I was down, but I sure had a great time while it lasted. I highly recommend it."

"In modern life we are not free from the plagues and torments of bad faeries. They make their presence known to us through all manner of disruptions,. from minor daily irritations to serious problems affecting our health and well-being."
-Brian

The Faery Challengers