Nine of Swords
A Fey is bent over, turned into herself, overwhelmed by her bitter pain. Above her hangs a sword of cold steel, held only by a thread. The tip is aimed at her unprotected back. The Fey's body is red and her face is covered by her hair. In the distance, though, a limpid night sky and stars shining brightly illuminate a stairway that leads out of this deep abyss.
Remorse, pain, self-destructive will, surrender, abandonment, nightmare, desperation, deep suffering
Again Swords are given the unpleasant task of handling and describing the human soul's relationship with pain. Pain hurts but it is part of life and we must not flee it, ignore it, or negate it. When it comes, pain is real and true, and the tarots must accept this. This card deals with remorse, responsibility, and loss. It describes the moment when not only is there no more hope. we do not even want to hope. We wait only for the pain to stop, in the worst and most terrible way. Hope, however, does not just depend on us. It is there even if we cannot see it, and pain is not able to shut every door and cloud every light. Not even the pain that comes from within and seems to swallow everything.
The hanging sword is like the sword of Damocles that could strike at any moment and bring ruin.
The stairs are the symbol of the exit from below ground and a return to light. Leaden grey is the colour of desperation that engulfs all details.
The stars are the lights that shine. They are like tears, because at times, tears help.